Is this why you’re not happy?
For the longest time, my life was total chaos:
My first born died of SIDS, my second child was diagnosed with Intellectual Disabilities, I went through a long, drawn-out, ugly divorce and was forced to declare bankruptcy.
I really did feel like I had the proverbial black cloud hanging over my head. And I’ll be honest, there were many days over the span of 10 years where I barely had the strength to get out of bed let alone do anything good for myself.
It took a great deal of work on myself – therapy, coaching, journaling, and praying – to turn me around. I also immersed myself in personal-development courses from some of the leading experts like Wayne Dyer and Eckard Tolle.
This why I coach women in midlife. I remember how I felt in those dark days. As if there would never be anything good in my life, that I’d never be happy.
No matter what your circumstances are, what you’ve endured or are currently going through, there is something I want you to consider.
Do you feel unworthy?
Sometimes when I would meditate, I would see myself as a little girl – I would literally be talking to her and telling her she was good and kind and deserved happiness. And then I would start crying because as much as I was saying that to my little girl self, I didn’t truly believe it. I didn’t think I was worthy of happiness. Is there a little piece of you that doesn’t think you’re worthy of happiness?
No matter where it came from, if it’s there you need to acknowledge it and start changing the narrative. One of the ways to do this is to start talking to yourself in the mirror every morning. Maybe you don’t like looking at yourself. Maybe you don’t like the person you see. But force yourself, even if it’s just for a minute, to look at yourself and say “You deserve happiness.” Do this every day. I don’t care if you feel silly talking to yourself, if you don’t think you deserve happiness no one else will either.
The other thing to do is write yourself a love letter. Write to the little girl you were and explain that she might have hard, sad, traumatic times but she’s still loveable and kind. She is worthy of happiness. Write about the wonderful qualities she has and the good things she’s done. End it by stating “You deserve happiness.”
And I’m going to tell you right now – you are worthy of happiness.
Is this something you struggle with? Reach out, I’d love to chat with you about it.
